A Real Wastelander
by Fan Fic Addict-Gabriel 3
Summary: Did you ever wonder how exactly Sig survived that caterpillar-like Metal Head? Read and find out! It's in Sig's POV. I BEG you to R&R please!
1. Trapped Like a Metal Head

Trapped Like a Metal Head  
  
"Let's go! We're almost to the elevator!" I heard Jak cry. Boy I was angry, I had been Krew's heavy for years; and how does he reward me? That fat slob sets me up! Anyways, the cherries and I finally managed to make it through the trap and almost reached the elevator outside the ancient place. Jak and the chili pepper were a few steps ahead. I walked towards them looking out for any Metal Heads that could jump in any moment. "Looks like finally lost 'em chili peppers!" I said in excitement. Jak waited for me to reach him while he gasped for air. "Peace of cake, huh? Now you boys are real Wastelanders!" I told them. Jak and the orange rat looked at me both with blank expressions. I could tell they were tired, but I wanted to loosen up the mood. "I say it's time we take this fight to the Metal Head leader himself!" I continued my speech. They both kept listening to what I had to say without hesitation. "What a trophy he'll make!" I told myself while picturing his head hanging on the walls of the Hip Hog. "We find a way to juice up Mar's ol' gun," I kept speaking, "and then boom baby, we storm the nest, guns blazing!" I was excited as I imagined myself fighting the Metal Head leader next to the cherries. I had been to the nest once, that's when I got Krew's first trophy. Krew and I both shared the obsession of collecting Metal Head trophies, but now he was gone. And that obsession would be mine only! "Hell! We'll take 'em all on, together!" I cried excitedly. Jak gave me a slight smile of inspiration. We both wanted to finish the Metal Head scum once and for all. "You and me! Side by side! Nothing'll stop us 'cause we're..." I began but didn't finish my speech. The roof began to crumble and I looked up to see what it was. It was none other than that damn caterpillar-like Metal Head again! When was that thing going to die!?  
  
I was angry to see that damn thing still alive. I would've shot it if it didn't come directly at me with its mouth wide open. I didn't have time to move, it just came at me. As its mouth fell on me I screamed "AGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" "SIG!" I heard the blonde chili pepper scream. That was the last thing I heard as the darkness engulfed me. I was inside the thing's mouth. The Metal Head was dropping down to the nothingness with me in it. I was going to fall down its throat, but I grabbed onto one of its teeth. I kept holding until the creature landed on the ground. It was weakened by the fall, but not dead. So I took advantage of the moment and came out of its mouth. When it got up, I charged my Peacemaker at it ready to shoot the damn monster. I shot a blue blast of electricity at it directly to its head. It yelled in pain until it fell on the ground. It was still not dead, so I shot it two more times with the Peacemaker until it died. I sighed in relief. I wondered if the cherries were worried about me. They probable thought I was dead. I looked around the place. There was nothing but yellow brick walls surrounding me everywhere. I thought I would die there since I didn't have where to go. The room was big, but the only exit was to go up. And it was a hell long way to go! I thought of a way to get out of there before starving to death. I must've spent about three hours planning a way to get out of there. I shot the walls with my Peacemaker about ten times, but nothing happened. Mar had built this place long ago when he started the city; he must've made it strong enough so that not even a Peacemaker could break through it. After all, this place was supposed to be a prison for Metal Heads. Little did Mar know that I was a person, not a Metal Head. And I was stuck in his prison for Metal Heads only. Why did I have to suffer the Metal Heads punishment? I had dedicated my life to rid the city of those creatures and now I was living like them, trapped in this prison. Four hours later, my stomach began to growl for food.  
  
'Oh no' I thought, I was going to have to eat the Metal Head caterpillar. At first I tried to resist the hunger, but I didn't last long. Five hours later, I needed to eat something. So I slowly approached the dead creature and cut a piece of its flesh with my Peacemaker's sharp part. I grabbed the flesh and bit it. It was east to chew, but it tasted horrible. It was a mix of a rotten cheeseburger and old yogurt. It smelled worse than Krew's gas bombs. And believe me; he farted a lot after every meal. I swallowed the big piece of flesh and cut another one. I ate that piece and then I needed to hide the taste with or I was going to die. The taste of rotten cheeseburger and yogurt remained in my mouth for another half an hour. Since the pieces of flesh were big, two were enough to keep me full for three more hours. I ate another horrible piece and then sat with my back leaning on the wall for another hour. After that, I began to feel sleepy. 'It must be night already' I thought. 'I'm going to sleep, I'll find a way to get out of here tomorrow' I thought and then went to sleep. The stone floor wasn't so bad once you got used to it. That night I dreamed about what I had told the chili peppers. There we were, in the Metal Head nest kicking some huge Metal Head ass. The Metal Head leader fired at Jak, but I covered him and fired with my Peacemaker. Jak thanked me and I welcomed him. We kept fighting and fighting until the leader finally died. It dropped dead on the ground and I began to cut its head off. "Help me with this Jak" I pleaded. We both carried the head to the Krimzon Guard ship in which Jak came in and then left towards the Hip Hog. We hung the head on the wall and then asked ourselves what was going to happen to the bar now that Krew was dead. "I'll gladly take it" Daxter said. "Fine, but take good care of it!" I warned him with a grin. Then I left the place and poof! The dream was gone.  
  
I woke up slowly. I figured it must've been morning already. 'Ok, so it's nine o' clock' I thought. I always woke up at nine if nobody woke me earlier. So it must've been nine back then. At least now I knew what time it was. So now when an hour passed, I would know it would be ten. 'That's a start' I thought as I cut another piece of the caterpillar's flesh for breakfast. It was horrible having to eat that crap for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Suddenly, I heard the place rumble. Out of the far end of the room, came another one of those caterpillars. I moved out of the way so I wouldn't be swallowed again. Of course! It was the male looking for its dead female. I studied Metal Heads before becoming a Wastelander and I read about these caterpillars. After the female dies, the male knows its dead and comes to pick it up a day afterwards. The male grabbed the female's dead body with his mouth and went back through the hole it had just made. I jogged through the hole following the male's tail. It led me to a huge cave filled with the female's eggs. The male threw the dead female on a corner where some of the babies were. The babies began to devour their dead mother. I didn't want to see such a horrible view so I closed my eyes. Afterwards, I checked what the male was doing. He had apparently left through another hole he made to get some more food for the babies. So I was left alone with a few babies eating their mother, and a thousand eggs which had not yet hatched. I slowly made my way through the eggs trying not to catch the babies' attention. I kept tip-toeing my way through until I reached the other end of the massive cave. I saw a small crack of light and thought 'Could it be!? Yes it is, it's an exit!' So I excitedly climbed up the cave to the crack of light. I broke it by hitting it with my Peacemaker until it revealed a big hole of light.  
  
It caught the babies' attention, but it didn't matter anymore. Because I was going to get out of there and the babies wouldn't be able to reach me. So I went through the hole and ended up in the sewers. "YES!!!!!!" I cried aloud. My echo could be heard through the sewers. And to add even more luck, there was a ladder on the corner of the room that led to the city. I climbed up the ladder and opened the plate covering the exit. I went out of the sewers and found myself close to the Hip Hog. I could see the neon sign from the distance. I had survived that horrible place. I walked towards the bar to see if anyone was there so I could let the cherries know I was still alive. 


	2. Back in the Hip Hog

Back in the Hip Hog  
  
I finally reached the bar. The doors opened and I stepped in hoping to see somebody. But no, nobody was there. Where had everybody gone? 'Probably everyone's mourning for me by now' I thought as I looked around the empty place. "Now what?" I asked myself. I sat in one of the seats rather than in the bar stools. I crossed my feet and rest them on the table. I crossed my arms behind my head and rested for a while. What a comfortable position it was. I never had time to rest like that ever since Krew began working on that secret project of his. I still didn't know what the project was, but Jak killed Krew and messed it up. So I didn't have to worry about anything. I would just wait for someone to arrive and fill me in on what Jak and the golden boy were up to. I cracked my knuckles before getting up form that comfortable position to get a drink. I went to the bar and served myself a root beer. Then I went back to the table I was sitting on to drink it. While I drank the root beer, I wondered what the cherries were doing. Probably they were shooting some Krimzon Guards or killing a couple of Metal Heads. Whatever it was that they were doing, it was going to be spread all around the city; until it eventually reached me. I bet that Tess would be the one to come through the doors and tell me, but I was wrong. In fifteen minutes or so, Brutter came in with an important message.  
  
I got up from my seat and greeted the Lurker. "What's cooking Brutter?" I asked him. "Is Jak and Daxter around?" he asked me. "No, why?" I told him. "Because Brutter need to tell them message" he replied. "Tell me" I pleaded him. "Brutter's air balloon that Brutter lent Samos and the others arriving in the Metal Headers' nest" he informed. "Also," he continued, "Samos told Brutter that if Jak and Daxter not in bar; they probably are in nest already." I looked at the Lurker's face for a moment. I tried to analyze what he said in his confusing way of talking. When I finally put the pieces together, I told him "Then they probably are in the nest like Samos told you." "Yes, most likely" Brutter agreed. After that, Brutter turned around to leave. "Hey Brutter!" I called for him before he left. "Yes?" he asked as he turned around. "Come have a couple of drinks with me" I invited him. "Ok" the Lurker said. He got a lot of empty glasses with ice and four bottles of root beer. He put them on a tray and lay the tray on the table we sat on. We began drinking while discussing some things about the cherries. "So what's on the air balloon?" I asked Brutter. "Time machine to take Jak and friends back is on balloon" he told me. "And what do you suppose Jak is doing in the nest?" I curiously asked. "Probably fighting Metal Header leader" the shaky Lurker guessed. "So you're saying that they're going to kill the leader and then go back to their time?" I asked for a confirmation. Brutter nodded in reply as he drank his root beer. "And what about the kid? He's been missing for some time now" I continued the interrogation. "Old man with long beard said Baron Praxis have kid" Brutter explained. "Who's 'old man with long beard'?" I asked, not knowing who the Lurker was referring to. "Brutter can't remember old man's name" he said, looking disappointed at not being able to answer that question. "Don't worry Brutter, you don't have to feel bad" I assured him.  
  
"Ok then" Brutter said as he changed the sad look on his face to big smile. We continued to drink our root beers in silence until I asked another question. "So when are Jak and chili pepper going to save the kid?" I asked. "Maybe after they finish killing Metal Header leader" Brutter responded. "Oh" I said. Silence surrounded the place again. We finished the bottles of root beer without talking anymore. Then I picked it up and put all the glasses and bottles on the tray. I took the tray to the kitchen behind a door next to the entrance to the bar. I entered the kitchen and left the tray on the pantry. Then I took a crate with different types of alcoholic drinks inside to the table where I was sitting with Brutter. "What is box for?" Brutter asked curiously. "It's for your mini-bar at the Bazaar" I answered him. "For free?" he urged. "Yep" I told him. "Thank you Sig!!!" Brutter thanked excitedly. He got up and hugged me tightly. "Courtesy of the Hip Hog Heaven Saloon" I assured him. He hugged me again and carried the crate. He waved goodbye and left the bar. Nice old Brutter, he was so kind. He was always willing to lend a hand to those in need. But he especially cared most for his 'Lurker brothers' as he called them.  
  
The rest of the day passed as I stayed in the bar relaxing. Some people entered and exited, but they were just customers I didn't know. I had to attend the customers since nobody else was there. Luckily, there weren't much customers at a time. At lunch time, I ate a cheeseburger that I made myself in the kitchen. I only ate half of it before remembering the Metal Head flesh though. Finally, when it was nighttime; a customer had just left and I was exhausted. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes when I heard the doors open and someone step inside. I went out of the kitchen to see who it was. It was Torn. "Sig, I thought you were dead" he said in his regular cocky voice. "Well, I'm not" I replied. "I just came by to see if anyone of Jak's friends were around to let them know something" he informed. "Well I'm one of Jak's friends, so spill the beans" I ordered the ex-Krimzon Guard. "Jak has just defeated the Metal Head leader" Torn explained. "He what!?" I cried in excitement. "You heard it, and he's on his way here" Torn continued. "But wasn't he going back to his time?" I asked confused. "Yes, but the time machine had to be used for something else" Torn cleared it up. "For what?" I asked. "I'm as confused as you are, let's just wait for him to get back and tell us" Torn said. Then he turned around and was about to leave the building when I called out for him. "Wait" I said. "What?" Torn said without even turning around. "Aren't you staying to wait for him?" I asked him. "Nah" he answered. "Then do me a favor" I pleaded. "Tell me" he ordered. "Don't tell him I'm alive, I want to surprise him" I admitted. "Ok" he agreed. Then he left and the place was quiet and calm once again. 'Well,' I thought, 'I bet Daxter's going to want to own the bar; so I'll surprise him when he opens it.'  
  
And with that I left the Hip Hog before Jak and his furry pal got there. I walked away to a small motel in the Slums. I got a room and watched some TV. After two hours or so, I turned the TV off and took my armor and boots off. Then I jumped on the bed and turned the lights off. 'Jak and Dax will be glad to see I'm still alive' I thought before going to sleep. Soon I fell into a deep sleep. I didn't much dream anything that night. I just slept without dreaming. 


	3. The Celebration

The Celebration  
  
A week after the defeat of the Metal Head leader, the grand opening of the Naughty Ottsel was finally taking place. I stayed in the motel for the whole week reading the newspaper to see what the name of the bar was going to be and when it was going to open. The day after the defeat of the Metal Head leader, it said it would be called the "Naughty Ottsel." And four days later, it said it would be opened that day. The opening party was for people who were invited only. But the bar would open the next day for the public. So the party was a week after the defeat of the leader at 8:00 P.M. and it was 6:30 P.M. already. I had just finished watching some TV and I went to the bathroom to shave. I took the shaving cream tube and put some of it on and around my chin. I took the razor and clicked it on. I began to pass the razor around the parts of my face covered in cream while thinking about how I would surprise Jak and the chili pepper. 'Should I just pop in or knock first?' I thought as I shaved. When I finished shaving, I clicked the razor off and washed my face. I left the bathroom deciding that I would just pop in and surprise everybody at the party. "If Torn doesn't keep his promise, I'll break his face! Leader of the Krimzon Guard or not!" I thought aloud.  
  
I walked around the Slums for thirty minutes and returned to the motel. A nice walk always helps stay healthy. Then I kept watching TV until it was finally 8:30. I left the motel and headed towards the Naughty Ottsel. What a name had Daxter thought of. It matched with his personality though; he was a perverted ottsel so he named it the Naughty Ottsel. "I wonder if he changed the place a bit" I asked myself. And he did. When I got to the club, the neon lights that once read "Hip Hog Heaven Saloon" now said "Naughty Ottsel." It was obvious he would change that though. And he also changed the huge hip hog on the top of the building. Now it had a huge figure of the chili pepper himself with devil-like horns and a big devil- like fork on his hand. Its free hand signaled the 'devil sign.' "I guess all that represents the naughtiness" I told myself as I looked at the huge figure amazed. I proceeded towards the entrance and I heard laughter and talking from the inside. As the doors opened, I heard Dax scream "Aggghhh! A Metal Head!" But when I stepped in and they all got a good look at me, Dax and Jak both screamed "SIG!" They were happy to see I was alive. Jak who was holding his love, Keira, around her waist; let go and approached me. "You're ok!?" he told me as he got close to me. I smiled at him and told him "You cherries didn't think some nasty breath, giant-sized lizard was gonna keep me from the biggest party in town did ya!?" Jak just looked at me and smiled. Then the furry ottsel told me "I knew you were too tough for 'em, big guy!"  
  
We all celebrated the death of the Metal Head leader who turned out to be Kor. That was explained to me by Jak and Samos when they told me everything about what happened in the nest. "So little Jak is now in Sandover huh?" I asked the Green Eco sage. "That's right" he confirmed. "I feel sorry for Vin" I commented aloud. "All of us do Sig, all of us do" Jak told me sounding upset at that comment. Not long afterwards, Torn and Ashelin, who were now seeing each other, came to the party too. We all talked and laughed and danced. An hour and a half later; when the part was over, the ones who had still not gone home stood outside the bar. Those were Samos, Jak, Daxter, Pecker, the croca-dog, and I. "You saved the city and more, my boy!" Samos congratulated Jak. "Metal Kor and his menace are history, and somewhere out there, an ancient race has begun again" Samos continued as he pointed with his wooden staff towards the sky. We all looked at the beautiful night sky that was filled with fireworks of citizens who were celebrating the defeat of Metal Kor. "I'm just glad to be back home" Jak said as he moved his hand behind the croca-dog's ears. "Yeah?" Samos added, "Well, rest up. We've got a lot to do and so much time to do it in!" "Don't say 'time!'" Jak exclaimed, "The Rift Ring was destroyed, remember?" Then I cut in the whole conversation and added some words of my own. "You know," I began, "my momma used to read me bedtime stories about Mar when she'd tuck me in... She'd give me a nice glass of warm yakow milk...and my little poopsy bear." Surprised at this comment, Jak's furry buddy exclaimed "Bedtime stories? Warm milk? Poopsy bear!? Buddy, ya just blew your image!" Pecker and the croca-dog laughed at Daxter's words. I barely chuckled myself. Then Samos caught all of our attention again by saying "I've got a feeling we'll meet Mar someday. He may be closer than you think." I smiled and gave Jak the Ruby Key. "You're the designated driver!" I told him.  
  
Jak took the Key and said "Oh no...I am done with adventures." "Besides," he continued, "you'll tell us before something happens next time, right Samos?" The Green Eco sage remained quiet and whistled pretending he didn't hear anything. Perturbed by Samos' silence, Jak repeated "RIGHT, SAMOS!" Then Pecker broke in the conversation by saying "Aarrk! You never know what the future may hold." "Wait! You know something don't ya feather breath?" Daxter suspiciously asked the monkeybird. Pecker got nervous at Daxter's question and replied "Who? Me? Ah... No... We're just, ah...guessing, right Samos?" "Today... Tomorrow... Only time will tell!" the monkeybird added. Unconvinced by Pecker's words, the ottsel warned "No! You're gonna tell... RIGHT NOW! Aagghhh!" And with that, the chili pepper jumped off Jak's shoulder towards Pecker. "AGGHHH! Why you little... AAARRR..." Pecker complained as Daxter jumped on him. "Ooooo, dirty fighting! Dirty fighting!" Dax yelled as he fought Onin's pet. Finally, I decided to grab them both in each hand by their tails. They hung upside down looking at each other fiercely. "Jak," Samos stated, "my boy, the future awaits!" After that comment, I dropped the two animals on the ground. They gave angry looks at each other with their arms crossed. We all stared at the night sky bathed in fireworks for a moment. "Well... I better get going" Samos told us. He slowly walked into the distance as he waved goodbye. The rest of us went back inside and had a couple of more drinks. Then Pecker said goodbye and flew away to the Bazaar.  
  
Then it was just Jak, golden boy, and I. We sat on the bar stools with empty glasses in our hands. "So tell me Sig, how exactly did you survive?" Jak asked me curiously. I smiled at the question and looked at Metal Kor's huge head that hung on the walls. "To be honest, I just made it 'cause I'm...a real Wastelander" I replied.  
  
THE END 


End file.
